Friday January 22nd 2010

As i begin today i would first like to acknowlege my friend Dennis,without whom i would not be back online.He helped me tremendously by fixing the laptop i was gifted by my older brother,which needed some major upgrades to be able to recognise my modem and so on.I am not very tech saavy,and without his help i would still be stranded offline.So a GIANT THANK YOU to you Dennis for all your help.This guy has rescued me from car and boat problems so many times i cannot count.His mechanical aptitude has proven to be the only way for me to have a roadworthy car or seaworthy vessel and i am lucky to have a friend and neighbor like him.Thanks again brother Dennis.
To update a little on my back pain issues i want to mention a pain clinic visit i had on Thursday.This was just a routine visit,but the doctors i saw seemed to put extra effort forth to comfort me.The clinic is part of a teaching hospital so i get to see alot of residents who always seem very eager to help,but the Physician in charge is always extremely gracious and compassionate to me.This visit resulted in a slight increase in my main pain medicine,and consultation regarding future surgery.I am on the fence still about any more surgical intervention,but i am really limited in my choices for relief.Living with chronic pain is very difficult to understand because sufferers are at first void of any obvious physical limitations that are present in other debilitating disabilities.looking at a chronic pain sufferer it would be hard to distinguish the differance from a normal healthy person.Upon closer inspection though,small differances become more and more obvious.The person seems unable to find any comfortable position to sit or stand.Eyes are a good clue as well,due to the sleepless nature of the struggle with pain.A few hrs at a time,if you are lucky,but any real rest seems a distant memory.Black circles develop and seem to show the signs of insomnia.
Continuing on i think some headlines in the news are in need of public discourse.It seems that because of the daily toils of family and work,or looking for work,seem to dicourage this much needed part of living in a democratic society.In my humble opinion folks need to start sticking their heads out the window and scream"i am mad as hell,and i'm not going to take it anymore."Until we can find common ground and have civil public discourse on the issues that effect us all,the powers that be will continue to ignore our plea's and destroy what is left of the historically young experiment of a nation we call our home.The supreme court has deceided to allow corporations and unions the ability to spend any amount of money on Election advertisement,overturning a 63 yr old law and several of their own prior decisions.I believe that this is going to be ruinous to our democracy and any chance of free and fair elections taking place.
A note in the margins of a non-ruling by the court in the late 1800 is the basis for the idea that a corporation is the same as a person in the eyes of the law.The note was made by a clerk of the court and should have no legal binding opinions based on this clerks margin note.This seems silly to me,but is very serious due to the weight that this is given in relation to current decisions made by the court.This current political environment is being called populist uprising on the part of the key voters,independants.The voters who through the washington system into turmoil in the senate race in mass. are just the beginning,in my opinion.This will continue on into the next election cycle and the losses suffered on the part of democrats will be large.The problem is no matter what happens,the only option to make real change will be out of the hands of the voters.In order to make a serious impact on the way our country operates,we need a sea change in washington.The whole of the incumbants need to be ousted.
My daily routine revolves around my wife and children,and i truly believe in my country and its ability to rebound from the ashes after the people awaken to the reality of their surroundings.I am on an island here it sometimes seems,but as the repercussions of the current political dissent continue it will be the people that stand up and speak out that make a differance.Commenting is not enough,we need to get up,go out and make the changes happen ourselves.It may seem impossible in the face of the struggles life brings us each day,but together we must be to face the challenges of the future.My family is lucky to live in this great nation,and i will try to show my children by example that we must all contribute what we can to make it remain the Free and democratic nation that all others strive to emulate.I am going to end here by saying until next time,thank you for reading. spacewalker

Tuesday January 19th 2010

Today started out real good for me and the kids.We all were up at 6:25 and each of us were happy to greet a new day.We ate a little breakfast of sliced apples and grape juice and flew through the morning hygiene routine without a hitch.With the weather being cold and damp my pain level is fairly high,but slightly mitigated due to the ease of our bright and happy awakening.The kids were off on the bus at 7:00 on the nose,and i did my best to walk our dogs.i am working on a older laptop due to the computer problems i mentioned in previous posts.It works fine and i am grateful to have it,again a gift from a kind family member.My older brother was kind enough to let me have it and i really appreciate it.I am very lucky to have a large family that gets together regularly.We all have our extended family groups that spread us out,but we always find ways to spend some time with one another.I still am fairly new at this and will write occasionally about family matters that i feel will make worthwhile reading.Notable stories that are headline news lately include the Haitian eathquake tragedy.This story gets worse by the day with the number of dead topping 200,000 as of todays estimates.A million homeless and the scope of the devastated infastructure is just beginning to come into focus.Sitting here it is difficult to be struggling with issues of such as mine while seeing the level of suffering being endured by the people of Haiti.I feel the same way when i see the Faces of the families of our fallen war heroes,as well as the brave men and women who have come home injured in body mind and spirit.No matter how difficult my struggle seems to me,I must be grateful each and every day for the blessings in my life.Today has started with a smile for me and i hope it has for you as well,as i end this post let me say until next time thank you for reading. spacewalker

Sunday January 18th 2010

i am happy to say that i am back online again and i am very happy to be here.My older brother gave me a computer and i am back to write and surf.It seems like forever that i was offline,and alot has happened in the time i was gone.The most important is the quake in Haiti.What an awful tragedy for the people of that nation.I am humbled at the scope of the rescue operations and the folks involved.These are the reasons we all need to come together as a group of the same people fighting the same problems.Looking at the suffering people puts aside all pol
itical and social differences we have.No one can deny people the basic needs like food and water and shelter without consequences.As the days go by i hope the situation will get better for those suffering.I will continue on later after the children go to bed.until then.... spacewalker

Today is another difficult day in my health struggle.I am having a difficult time with my pain control due to the built up tolerance to the medication i take.It is normal and routine to adjust medication for whatever reason,but in pain control it is difficult to find an acceptable dosage that you can maintain for a long period.As my tolerance increases so does my pain level,which in turn sabotages any progress i have made.The muscles need to be used or they begin to loose mass,and that also adds stress on the unused or underused body part,in my case the lower back.
The Doctors at the pain clinic i go to are wonderful and smart,but the field is one that is underesearched and underfunded due to controversial pharmacutical drugs and newer medical devices.The medical devices for long term chronic pain include but are not limited to dorsal column stimulators and drug delivery pumps that are implanted under the skin.My personal experience with the stimulators includes having several implanted and removed with variable success.I got alot of relief but the leads migrated and caused other areas to be stimulated.This had unintended consequences such as painful contraction of my stomach muscles.i will end here as my computer is still having problems.until next time thank you for reading. spacewalker

Well,today i am still having problems with my computer and i don't know how long it will allow me to write so i will make this post as brief as i can.The news of the last several days surround the attempted bombing of a jetliner on Christmas day.How lucky we are that the brave passengers and crew heroically saved the world from another heinous attack.I am glad our Government has chosen to prosecute this terrorist in federal court,as opposed to a military tribunal.Those military trials are in no way in the national interest.My personal opinion is we have the best justice system in the world,and have already successfully prosecuted terrorists like Richard Reed(the Shoe Bomber)and Ramsey Yusef(first World Trade Center bomber).
Our national security is more threatened by policies and practices that are used as recruiting tools by the organizations that want to harm the U.S..The Guantanamo Bay facility is one example,and not closing it as promised is a giant mistake.Along with extrordinary rendition and CIA black sites,this helps radicalize young men with few other options for income.In order to remove the motivation used by poor uneducated men in nations that have little or no government like Yemen and Somalia,we need to be helping them to build or rebuild economic opportunity.The basic needs of everyday life is what is lacking in the lives of those low ranking members of these terrorist groups.i will continue on this subject as my computer problems are repaired i will say goodbye and thanks for reading. spacewalker

Well,today i am still having problems with my computer and i don't know how long it will allow me to write so i will make this post as brief as i can.The news of the last several days surround the attempted bombing of a jetliner on Christmas day.How lucky we are that the brave passengers and crew heroically saved the world from another heinous attack.I am glad our Government has chosen to prosecute this terrorist in federal court,as opposed to a military tribunal.Those military trials are in no way in the national interest.My personal opinion is we have the best justice system in the world,and have already successfully prosecuted terrorists like Richard Reed(the Shoe Bomber)and Ramsey Yusef(first World Trade Center bomber).
Our national security is more threatened by policies and practices that are used as recruiting tools by the organizations that want to harm the U.S..The Guantanamo Bay facility is one example,and not closing it as promised is a giant mistake.Along with extrordinary rendition and CIA black sites,this helps radicalize young men with few other options for income.In order to remove the motivation used by poor uneducated men in nations that have little or no government like Yemen and Somalia,we need to be helping them to build or rebuild economic opportunity.The basic needs of everyday life is what is lacking in the lives of those low ranking members of these terrorist groups.i will continue on this subject as my computer problems are repaired

Friday January 1st

Today is the first day of a brand new year.Its very difficult to explain but i am both happy and sad to welcome another year.Sad because it seems my options for any relief from my health issues are very few.It is very hard to accept this is how i must go through each day.My body is so racked with pain and the meds are only providing minimal help.The surgery that i need is just too risky and gives no real hope to me that i will get better.
At the same time i have two boys that offer me great reasons to look ahead with hope.Even if i continue to get worse physically,these guys get stronger and smarter and bring me joy every day.When i look at them it reminds me of all the potential each one of us holds.One person can make all the world take notice.My children are a gift that i am grateful for each and every day.To that end i must also thank my wife for all her help and love she provided me with in the past year.having some computer problems so i will end for now by saying good bye and thanks for reading....spacewalker